We almost reached the end of 2008, so many things happened in the past few years. Laughter and tears are shed, as you grow by time. Hurtful things happened, which made me realise how cruel the world can be. However, it also made me realise how to cherish the things in life you took for granted in the first place. They don't know what is going on inside my mind, as I choose to not say it out loud. Looking back at the past, time flew by in a hurry..While at that time it felt like the world stopped moving. Weird how life can change this quickly. How people grow apart from eachother...Sometimes when I think back at the times in high school I really miss it. I feel guilty for this person which I really could call my good friend. We grew apart as our contact fade, I had no idea what was going on in your life. I could not see the suffer and the pain you were going through. While you stood by my side and cheered me up when I felt like the world was too cruel, I could not do this for you. As I came to know about it, it was too late. It felt like I couldn't get close to you anymore. I never said this to you, as I don't know which words to use. I never dared to ask how you have been, as I am afraid to hurt you. But more important, afraid to acknowledge the kind of friend I must have been during that time. I miss the times we spend together, laughing and goofing off while watching movies, making pictures and just talk about the little things in life. I cherish the moments spent. You have always been so strong, like you could take on the whole world. I admire you, the way you live life, and I am sorry for letting the contact fade away. We all look for happiness, as we search for it our whole life. Regardless, few (if not none) know what it truly looks like and how long it lasts. What makes us happy? It is subjective and it depends on timing. Ten dollar may seem like nothing now, however it may make you happy if it is the only thing you have. Whatever makes you happy now, doesn't necessary make you happy in the future. As we are greedy human beings, we long for more.. It is in their nature, some people have it stronger than the other. As we always desire for more, can you achieve happiness? A goal stops being a goal as you achieved it, but if the factors of happiness keeps changing..Can happiness still be achieved? We need to live day by day and live life to the fullest, at the same time we can't do this without thinking about tomorrow. Still we have to make the best of it, as this is an one way ticket with no possibility to exchange. Time is passing by so quickly and I soon will be on my own at the other side of the world. This moment I waited all these years for, seems to scare me a bit now. I have to rely on myself and grow, becoming an independent girl. Although I doubt it, I don't want to have high expectations, in fear to get dissapointed. I want to leave and then I don't, having mixed feelings about it. What if everyone moved on with their life when I come back, will there still be room for me in it? I just need to wait and see, my decisions are made and I am leaving. Leaving to explore the world, and encounter life as this is an once in a lifetime experience, my one way ticket.

Labels: life

Written by XJR, at 1:18 AM