Yesterday was the Here I Am dance workshop of Nike with Natalie la Rose. As much as I dislike dancing in public for others to see and judge, I still decided to go Sunday morning. Just go and don't regret it, I thought. Yet I was worried to make a fool out of myself. I arrived at a dance studio filled with young talented girls, all with a great passion for dance. Natalie la Rose is one hell of a dancer, I really envy her.. Work hard for you goals, one day you will be rewarded for it, she said. She taught us a routine on the pussycat dolls - when I grow up. Dance confident and sexy, two things I can't do. Everyone had to perform the routine and some freestyle in front of the judges, where 8 of them would be picked as winners. As I predicted, I could follow the routine in the group, and then I had a black out in front of the judges. Stage fright, I never seem to be comfortable when all eyes are on me. This was supposed to be our Here I Am moment, yet I did not had the feeling of being noticed. However, i'm still glad and proud that I went..Step by step I will get used to it, step by step I will get over my stage fright. Cause in the end I did not gave up..I did not back off. In the end...I was there.Labels: dance
While sitting in the train listening to music and staring out of the window, which has become a routine, this time I heard people in front of me talking about other people's life. They mentioned some family who seems to be 'perfect' but in reality is falling apart. Talking about how they never expected this to happen, 'that girl seemed so wise' they say. It made me disappointed..not for the family being imperfect, but the expectations that people have about everyone around them. We all have some expectations to live up to, whether it is from your family, friends, colleagues and everyone else involved in your life. 'Be the best in everything you do'. It makes you and them disappointed when you can't life up to it. You try so hard, so hard to change yourself..but in the end you're losing a piece of yourself. Never being satisfied with the things you do, always trying to do better. At least I do.. We can't change who we are and we need to accept this..Yet the world seems to always lay this pressure on us. If we could just all accept the flaws human beings have and let us be ourselves instead of changing us. If we just could be happy and satisfied in what we do...It's easier said than done, I know. This world has made it almost impossible to not care about other people's opinion. Growing up with the meaning of being independent, yet we need to rely on others so much. Still there is that little possibility that we can. And so with that in my mind, I try everyday.Labels: life